I stand to accuse.
I don’t want to be here. I feel a bit like Adam may have felt in the garden. The options are all wrong.
Personally, it is a curious time. 40 days ago, I built and prayed upon an altar at the top of a mountain. It was the day of the solar eclipse. It was a day of repentance. It was a day of revelation. It was a day of discovery. It was the last day of 7 consecutive, 40 consecutive day fasts that began with a command and no apparent significance to the timing thereof. It was 40 consecutive fast days ago. Which brings us here, to this most holy of days, to Yom Kippur.
There is little doubt that nearly everyone will disagree with this characterization, but it is how I perceive the situation. In the beginning, “’The One” was given an assignment to write. He did. Through some mystical transformation, The One was “accused” by “The Many” and The Many took over the assignment to write. Then The Many were accused by “The Many More,” who then took over the assignment to write. Some of The Many accused The Many More, while some of The Many More accused their accusers. Then the “Very Many More” accused The Many More and took over the assignment to write. In the midst of this, there were so many accusers (individuals and groups) and so many accused (individuals and groups) that it defies any attempt to characterize how we got here.
Now I stand to accuse all (minus The One), myself included.
I screamed at the heavens this morning for being put in this no-win situation, but was reminded of a covenant to lay aside any tendency towards being passive-aggressive (run away and gripe). I was told to pick up the cross.
Karen Strong wrote well that the situation should not arise where some one individual can empower themselves to be “a strongman.” Well, I’m sorry (in more ways than you can possibly imagine), but here I am. I will vote against every single proposal not written by the hand of The One.
So, until such time as The One abandons or abdicates this work, or his assignment is revoked, I will provide whatever insight, council, or assistance he requests, including getting absolutely out of his way. If that means standing to “defy all Israel,” then so be it. You may say, how can you do so and be at one with the body of Christ? But, how can one stand with the body of Christ and be an accuser of The One. Is that not how Christ was left abandoned and forsaken? In doing so, I sin. I know I sin. I choose this sin over a greater sin and thereby throw myself at the Lord’s mercy, while praying for forgiveness for all of us.
Yom Kippur. How apropos.
We have an acronym in our family: JERC (justification, excuse, rationalization, and chicanery). While it appears to be “human nature (aka. the natural man), to defend our position, to marginalize critique, and to establish more polarized biases with those who share our opinions, there is every reason to believe that this is probably a pretty good indication that we are hard of heart. In many (perhaps most) cases, what we see in others is who we are (see Romans 2:1).
Many will undoubtedly claim that they were simply attempting to offer opinions and politely disagree. Perhaps, but while there have been a number of instances where hearts have been unified in the process, the fruit of many (most?) of these interactions remains rotten to the core.
2 Replies to “The Nuclear Option”
“The one” in your post above is Jeff Savage, correct? Do you view his participation on that series of blog posts with Adrian and the resulting process to be him abandoning or abdicating the work? If “the one” participates in a forum, and agrees with the resulting document, will you agree with it, or vote against it because “the one” himself did not write it?
Yes. It is Jeff.
Please understand the following with the caveat that I do not feel at all inspired in this response. This is all me. It is based on my hopes where this might go. It is driven at least in part by my personal weaknesses and the very uncomfortable position I find myself in.
If Jeff agrees with, accepts, and sustains the final document, then unless given some specific reason to believe otherwise, I would have to conclude that he does not feel called to complete the work. In such a case, I would feel compelled to accept the work, and am working within the current process to that end. With that said, I can think of at least two “specific reasons” why that might not be true: Jeff felt at that time bullied and/or pressed into taking that position (in opposition to what he felt the Lord expected of him); and the Lord inserted Himself yet again in the process.
I note that there is a conundrum here. Given the current process as I understand it, no one can know what the “final document” would look like until after the vote is complete.